Delighting in HIM

Recalibrating Life...

2012-01-12T20:50:00.003-05:00

A year ago I read the book Made to Crave by Lysa TerKeurst. I enjoyed it but didn't retain any of the information in the book. This year, one of my 2012 goals is to get healthy. To do so, I need to recalibrate my thoughts. Lysa states in the intro to her book,

"Getting healthy isn't just about losing weight. It's not limited to adjusting our diet and hoping for good physical results. it's about recalibrating our souls so that we want to change- spiritually, physically, and mentally. And the battle really is in all three areas."

What does that mean for me?

Spiritually-I need to make time in my life for Worship- the worship of my Creator, my Savior. Honestly, this is something I struggle with- I start off with good intentions and it goes well. I get up early and get that time in (I KNOW myself and know that it won't be happening at night) and then as the weeks progress I get more and more tired. Then, I think, "Oh, I'll do it tonight" and it ends up being several days and nights before I pick it up again. I started a new Journey group this week with several women- this has been a good week to start off this new "journey"- so far so good but I covet prayers to continue this. And that leads into....

Physically- Again, this is something I KNOW I need to do. I'll be honest, I just don't enjoy the thought of exercise. Once I have started and finish, I am SO glad that I did it but that getting started- ugh! I also know that part of the physical is also getting enough sleep. That means, if I want to fully experience the spiritual aspect then the sleep/physical aspect needs to come into play as well. When I am tired, I am less focused. I'm making a more conscious effort to go to bed at a decent time so that when the alarm clock goes off, I'm more likely to be ready to go with joy in my heart and a spring in my step :) This also means I need to make healthy food choices and surround myself with healthy food. I found a pin on pinterest that says "If you keep good food in your fridge, you will eat good food." This is the stage where I need to be- I need to not tempt myself by having that candy or chips or whatever else might be calling to me (ice cream???) and fill my world with healthy food options. And then there's the water (which will be a whole different blog post as I had some thoughts about this wonderful thirst quencher earlier this week)- cutting out the sodas again and drinking that water. And the final step is...

Mentally- this is probably the hardest one for me. Physical and Spiritual are hard BUT they are those things that have been around for my lifetime. Mentally, I struggle. I know that I don't fit the world's ideal (which is where my struggle lies) and Satan uses this to attack me. Some of the lies he tells me are, "why bother? it isn't going to make a difference." "Do you really think anyone will even notice? Nah, they won't- there's no point." "That one little donut isn't going to hurt" and on and on. Oh, he's good in that aspect- he knows my heart and knows exactly the words to say that will bring heartache. And this is probably going to be an area of further blogging as I work through it.

Anyway, this is long enough- just a little peek into the journey I am on. I will be participating in Melissa Taylor's online Bible Study for this book beginning this Sunday. I think this is exactly where I need to be right now to do this and would covet your prayers as I find my "want-to" and learn that food cannot satisfy the emptiness- only God can.

A New Year...A New Perspective

2012-01-01T00:01:00.000-05:00

ETA- out of habit I typed 2011 so I fixed it!

2011 is over and 2012 is just beginning. When the calendar turns from December 31 to January 1 you can't help but be a little excited- it's a new year- a blank slate.

For many 2011 was an exciting year and for others not so great. It was a year of loss, a year of questions, and a year of uncertainty. I read the following verse tonight and thought how fitting it is:

"You were wearied with the length of your way, but you did not say, “It is hopeless”; you found new life for your strength, and so you were not faint." Isaiah 57:10 (ESV).

I want that to be my legacy- that at the end of a long day, a long year it can be said of me that I did not say, "it is hopeless" but through my HOPE in Christ I have found new life for my strength and did not faint.

Getting there...A Journey of the Heart...

2011-11-27T21:04:00.003-05:00

So, part of the conflict that has been in my heart is the knowing that I was not spending the time in the Word like I should have been. I have been working to make it more of a priority (and will still be working on it). The other issue has been the lack of praying like I should have. I can't pinpoint where or when this unsettledness began but I know that it has been longer than it should have been. I haven't wanted to do much of anything and since i don't have my back as an 'excuse" anymore I have been forced to "deal with it". So, all this to say- I am hopefully and prayerfully looking ahead with hope to the future and trust that He is going to lead me exactly where He wants me to be- and doing exactly what He wants me to do....

I started this post back on November 7 and in the month since then I have come to understandings and realizations and in the process- some peace. I know that my journey isn't over and this is something that I will have to let go of on a daily basis-understanding that He is in control and that God truly does know what is best for me. So, what prompted this journey? Desire and unfulfilled dreams. Anyone who knows me knows that my greatest desire is to have a family of my own and those who know me- know that that particular dream has been unfulfilled. Some of my unsettledness has stemmed from friends getting married (and lots of them) having children due to natural birth and in some cases- adoption. Don't get me wrong- I am THRILLED for them but each time a little part of me dies because it's like my dream has taken another hit. Do I understand it? Not at all. Do I trust Him? I can say with absolute certainty my answer is YES (and for a while I wondered if I truly did).

(both of these found on Pinterest)

and this is an honest post- hard to write because it's having to come to terms that things may not be what "my" plan is and understanding that that is okay...

Momentary Affliction

2011-11-07T12:00:00.000-05:00

Today in class we studied 1 Peter and one of the verses it took us back to was this verse in 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 (ESV)

So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. ¹⁷For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, ¹⁸ as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.

I know that the conflict that my heart is engaged in is only momentary- this verse gives me that hope. And, when I break through that conflict I am going to know that it was all part of the preparation for eternity. I told someone that this verse was a balm to my soul. I have heard and read this verse numerous times over the many years I have studied but never has it made an impact as it did today. I heard this song the other day and it hit a chord with me...

Days of Gratitude and Wonder

2011-11-05T12:59:00.002-04:00

All over Facebook people are putting what they are thankful for in a 30 days of gratitude thing. But why should it be limited to 30 days- shouldn't we be thinking on what we are thankful for 365 days out of the year (or 366 on those crazy leap years)? Why just in November? Why not January? Why not have 31 days of thankfulness for a new year? Eh, maybe I'm just cynical right now. Don't get me wrong- I am thankful for more than I can ever express and I'm pondering how to tie this in to my life and my blog- but I know that for ME, I need to focus on more than 30 days. And then after the season of thankfulness what happens- we get all crazy as we enter the season of Christmas- but for me- this year- I want it to be a season of WONDER.

I have sort of lost my passion, my sense of wonder for the gift that was given to me. I have heard my dad say it before but Jesus is not the reason for the season- we are the reason because we are the reason that He came to be born and fulfill the prophecies for the Messiah. So, my goal this season is live my days of gratitude and wonder and not to let the busyness of life and cynicism that can creep in take over. And more importantly for that attitude of gratitude and wonder to go beyond 30 days, to go beyond November and even December.

This song by Hillsong has been one that has just stuck in my mind over and over.

When to say something...

2011-10-10T21:23:00.002-04:00

and when to stay silent? This is something I have been wrestling with lately. If it's not a "non-biblical" issue where is the line? What if it's just something offensive to one or two particular people? What if it's just a generalization? What if other people see and discuss it? What if it's been aired publicly and then that person gets upset (when they brought it up in the first place)? Comments? Suggestions?

Happy Birthday Dad!

2011-10-09T00:01:00.000-04:00

Today is a day that I can't let go by without acknowledging it in some way! Today is my dad's birthday (he is 59- hey, he tells everyone how old I am so I can tell everyone how old he is) :). There are really not enough words to describe how I feel about my earthly father. I know so many people who grow up without a father in the home, with fathers who are tyrants, who lived through years of fear because of their father. I am so blessed that I can say the opposite. These verses in Psalm 22 say it all:

"Yet you are holy, enthroned on the praises of Israel. In you our fathers trusted; they trusted, and you delivered them. To you they cried and were rescued; in you they trusted and were not put to shame." Psalm 22:3-5 (ESV)

I have watched my dad through trials/hard times in life and have seen his faith- his trust in Christ and it is such a huge encouragement. I have watched my dad through the good times and have seen the thankfulness to God in those times. I have been blessed- and I hope and pray I never lose sight of that. Love you dad!

A friend posted this song on FB Saturday and as I listened to it- I think it's exactly what my dad would have said as I was growing up and what he would say to this day:

Pleading for His People

2011-07-17T17:54:00.003-04:00

Psalm 3:4 "I cried aloud to the Lord, and he answered me from his holy hill."

Psalm 4:1 "Answer me when I call, O God of my righteousness! You have given me relief when I was in distress. Be gracious to me and hear my prayer!"

Psalm 6:6-7 "I am weary with my moaning; every night I flood my bed with tears; I drench my couch with weeping. My eye wastes away because of grief; it grows weak because of all my foes."

Psalm 77:1-3 " I cry aloud to God, aloud to God, and he will hear me. In the day of my trouble I seek the Lord; in the night my hand is stretched out without wearying; my soul refuses to be comforted. When I remember God, I moan; when I meditate my spirit faints."

David was no stranger to pain, anguish, and suffering- and much of it was a result of choices he made and living with the consequences. Does that make his anguish any less real? No, although sometimes I think we tend to brush it aside and say, "He deserved it". Did he, not my place to judge- because in reality, don't I tend to make the same mistakes? Maybe not on the "scale" of his- but sin is sin- period.

The thing that I see over and over from David is who he turned to every single time- His God- the very same God who allowed all of the hurt. Why? Because David knew that God was Sovereign. David knew that he had been called by God to a higher purpose. He knew that God was the KING of kings.

All through the Psalms we see evidence of David turning to God with questions- Why? How long? Who? When? What next? And yet, through the pain, shone glorious truths- truths that he (David) knew about God. Truths that we know about God. Further on in Psalm 77 he said "Then I said, "I will appeal to this, to the years of the right hand of the Most High. I WILL REMEMBER the deeds of the Lord; yes, I WILL REMEMBER your wonders of old. I will ponder all your work, and meditate on your mighty deeds. YOUR way; O God, is holy. What god is great like our God?" (10-13). David asked questions but he didn't stay in those questions- he didn't dwell on them (hmmm... maybe, just maybe we could learn an important lesson there). He went beyond the questions- he REMEMBERED what had been done- he REMEMBERED God's Sovereignty.

I have some sweet friends who are experiencing some of the pain and anguish that David must have felt. Back in December 2009 they had twins who were born at 25 weeks- both less than a lb. Ethan was 13 oz. and 19 months later they were showing signs of thriving. Rather than taking the chance of giving wrong details I encourage you to read Jared and Sara's blog and see the glory through the pain. You can find it here at Raby's Ramblings. Be sure to note how you can pray. I am asking that the few people who might read this blog to plead, to intercede on their behalf. Romans 8:26 says, "Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words."

I firmly believe that as believers we are called to intercede for this family as well. I know this is long but before I go I am putting out one last thing- Ethan needs bone marrow asap! It's a life giver that someone else has that can save his (hmm... another lesson there). Go get tested! I am heading out this week to be tested. You can go here for more info (or I believe check your blood bank as well).

Oh, one last thing- the following is a quote by Sara's brother Nathan who lives in TX and is away from the family during this time (the rest of the family is here)- it pretty much sums it up perfectly.

"God has received much glory from the lives of the Jared Raby family already. Our finite minds can't understand how He can want more from them. But His ways are higher than our ways and beyond understanding." - Nate Halley

**all verses are ESV.

Nostalgia...

2011-06-08T21:57:00.003-04:00

What do these have in common? Cabbage Patch dolls, Pound Puppies, Care Bears, Nancy Drew, DC Talk (old school), NKOTB (sorry dad, had to throw that one in there), and family vacations to places such as Hershey, Gettysburg, and we can't forget Washington or Iowa :)... For me- they are all parts of my past. Earlier this week I was having a blast of nostalgia- I found some things that led to looking at Youtube videos of old school DC Talk and Geoff Moore. It really took me back to a time when things were much simpler. When I look up nostalgia (online because who really uses a paper dictionary anymore?) this is what I find: Nostalgia : a wistful or excessively sentimental yearning for return to or of some past period or irrecoverable condition

Looking back can be a good thing but it also can be something that destroys us (look at what happened to Lot's wife when she physically looked back). It is a time that can help us trace God's hand in our lives- a time that helped build our characters- a time that shows us who really matters in our lives and who our true friends are. However, too often we dwell on the past and let it take hold of us in ways that we can't even fully understand. It can affect our present and our future in negative ways- IF we let it.

The important thing to remember is that we can't go forward if we are looking behind us. Paul addresses it in Philippians 3:12-14:

Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. (ESV)

Embrace the past- it's over and can't be changed- but RUN toward the future with hands wide open to grab onto the teachings place in front of us and a heart that uses the wisdom gained!

35 Years Down... A Lifetime to Go

2011-06-03T00:11:00.001-04:00

Yep, it's my birthday and I figured what better day to blog on in the month of June (since apparently I am good to blog one day out of a month). This past year has been an interesting year- but in looking back through all of the other years- it's really not been so different. There have been ups and downs, goods and bads, and everything in between. The question I have to ask myself- Have I TRULY been following HIM in all I say and do? In the life I am leading am I living as one totally sold out and committed to Him? Some days I could definitely say yes, some days I could definitely say no- and some days- well, some days I know that I am just lukewarm and that scares me a bit because I know what the Bible says about those who are lukewarm.

My prayer for the upcoming year is simple-
it's that the fire that I have had returns and burns brighter than ever before
it's that I live a life worthy of the calling that has been given to me
it's that I live a life that TRUSTS in THE ONE who is trustworthy
it's to dream the dreams that He has planned for me and not being afraid to take those steps
it's to look in the eyes of the people I come in contact with and see Christ in them no matter how the world sees them
it's to have a pure and holy passion that starts and ends (or doesn't end) with Christ as the center.

Happy Mother's Day

2011-05-08T01:59:00.000-04:00

See this lady (up in the picture)? THAT is MY mom and I am not sure if she will read this or not but I wanted to say Happy Mother's Day. This picture makes me smile because this was from her birthday weekend back in January. It was an "important number" birthday and my sister and nephew and I (along with some help from my dad) surprised her for the weekend.

Anyway, what makes my mom special? Too many things to list but I'll give it a shot!

Proverbs 6:20-21 says:
My son, keep your father’s commandment,
and forsake not your mother’s teaching.
Bind them on your heart always;
tie them around your neck.

My mom spent time- with her words and her life- teaching me how much Jesus loved me. She has encouraged me through every season of life I have traveled through. This journey of my life has had had many valleys, mountains, and deserts and she has been with me 100% of the way. She has never turned her back on me or made me feel as if I am worthless or can't do something. In fact, it's quite the opposite- she has shared words of encouragement and godly wisdom from her own personal experiences. She has shown me what being a wife completely devoted to your husband and a mother devoted to your children looks like. IF that is something that God ever brings to me in this life- then I know that I have one to look toward- one who has traveled the journey that is before me- one that has a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen- as she has done so many times in the past. So, on this Mother's Day I want to send a special Mother's Day greeting! I love you Mom!

Lessons from the Storm

2011-04-29T15:52:00.005-04:00

You would have to be living under a rock these days to not have heard about the destruction in the south. On Wednesday alone- in our area we were under pretty much constant tornado warnings for over 12 hours. My house had two rounds of hailstorms and pretty intense thunder, lightning, and torrential rain. However, this was nothing compared to this:

4-27-11 Tornado Tuscaloosa, Al from Crimson Tide Productions on Vimeo.

So, this weekend I was driving to Ohio to visit my sister (and family of course) for the weekend and had 6 hours of drive time to think about what I learned from the storm.

1) What appears to be a good thing- may in fact, be the thing that can bring about great destruction. You see, earlier on Wednesday we had a torrential rain and then the sun came out, dried it all up and made it nice and warm. You would think that was just what was needed- but our weathermen mentioned several times that night (in the 8 straight hours of coverage) that really- that was bad. That set up the atmosphere for the perfect conditions for the storms that took place. How often do I look at something and think it's a good thing- maybe even a "God-thing" and realize later that it has brought great destruction?

2) One may think that the effects were localized for each place- but numerous reports have come out about documents, papers, items, photos, etc. being found over a hundred miles from where they started- got me thinking about what I have that could be blown over 100 miles- would it be something I would be proud of? Or ashamed?

3.) What appears to be "small" can cause great damage. The hail that I had was pea-marble sized hail. However, about 15 minutes away I had friends who had dented houses, piles (some 8 inch high) of hail, hail that were the size of baseballs, broken windows, holes in convertible tops, etc. I liken this to words- a comment made in passing, words spoken in "truth" or trying to be "helpful" can cause a tremendous amount of pain. There's a reason why in James it talks about bridling the tongue- we could all (myself included) take those verses to heart a bit more.

4) The past few weeks there have been numerous tornado watches, thunderstorm warnings, tornadic (yes, that is a word- I heard it several times the other night) activity and yet, I am sure there were people caught unaware- people who may have thought- that won't happen to me. Sometimes, I wonder if we have become so desensitized to what we hear that we quit paying attention when someone is trying to help us (kind of like in the fable The Boy Who Cried Wolf). The application is an easy one here- I can't help but think of how often (especially lately) we have heard about Jesus coming back. I am not here to debate the ins and outs and theological viewpoints (quite honestly it's something I need to study more) but the real point- am I ready? Am I helping others be ready? Am I sharing the truths that they need to hear? Am I aware?

Not all of my thoughts by any means- and as I gather some more I will continue to share them but I will leave you with this (and I know this has been long but I hope you have hung in there!)

Focus and a Hard Reality

2011-04-10T21:02:00.003-04:00

This post is a hard post to write- it's been a long time since I have been where I am today. Honestly, I am struggling- and that's a hard thing for me to admit- I don't like that I don't have it all figured out (but then neither did the disciples for a LONG time). I have been struggling for a while and it's been something I can't pinpoint. I have had no motivation, no passion, no "nothing" to do anything beyond the necessary parts of living. I LOVE my job and that's been an area where I haven't struggled. People have asked me how I was doing and I respond with a "fine" but in reality- that's not where I am. Some days, I am literally just going through the motions and other days- I don't even feel like I am doing that.

I don't know how long I'll be in this "funk" or what it will take to get me out of it but I knew it was time to be real- especially when I heard this song earlier today...

A Journey...

2011-03-05T22:14:00.004-05:00

My attention was directed to Jess' blog by my sweet friend Julie from Come Have a Peace. Jess is the wife of one of our student pastors at church and while I have only spent a little bit of time with her- her heart is one that truly desires to bring glory to God- I truly enjoy listening to her share her heart. This post here is the one that grabbed my attention and I started thinking of my vision/my purpose statement. I'm not married but realized that I didn't need to wait on a spouse to create one- in fact, by doing so may help me in the long run define the kind of man that I should be waiting on. So, I combined my two blogs (my card blog and this one) for my vision statement: The Journey of a Life Desiring to Delight in Him. Then I started thinking of what that meant and like Jess decided to break it down:

The Journey- journey used as a transitive verb means: to travel over or through. I have been on many journeys- from the family vacations to the mission trips to a journey right down the street, to the difficulties of health challenges, to loss of a physical object/person or a dream. Journeys take you places and you are never the same after it's over. In my life I have been on 6 mission trips and each of the 6 were completely different and yet- each of them changed/impacted my life in some way. I found this quote that sums it up:

"The road of life twists and turns and no two directions are ever the same. Yet our lessons come from the journey, not the destination." Don Williams, Jr.

And they said to him, "Inquire of God, please, that we may know whether the journey on which we are setting out will succeed." And the priest said to them, "Go in peace. The journey on which you go is under the eye of the LORD." Judges 18:5-6 (ESV)

That verse spoke volumes- my journey is under God's watchful eyes! WOW!

of a Life- there were several definitions for life: a specific phase of earthly existence; the period of duration, usefulness, or popularity of something; and (my personal favorite) an opportunity for continued viability. I have heard the little story about living in the dash- you have a birth date and a death date on your tombstone but in the middle is a dash. That dash represents your life and I want to be remembered (or leave a legacy) in my dash. Life was never promised to be easy BUT we were promised that HE would never leave us nor forsake us in that life.

"Every man dies. Not every man really lives." William Wallace

This verse tells me all I need to know- I WILL get tired, I WILL get weary BUT (so glad there's a but) He gives me the strength I need exactly when I need it.

"Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:28-31 (ESV)

Desiring to- this word carries so many connotations. M-W defines desiring as: to long or hope for; exhibit or feel desire for. We desire many things (or people). A spouse (for most single people), your spouse (for those married people), a new job, or even a physical object. So often, we rush ahead and act on our desires instead of waiting and seeking the Lord in our quest. When that happens- it's usually not a good thing- it usually ends up leading us off our straight path (Proverbs 3:5-6).

"You say, 'If I had a little more, I should be very satisfied.' You make a mistake. If you are not content with what you have, you would not be satisfied if it were doubled." Charles Spurgeon

and

"When your will is God's will, you will have your will." Charles Spurgeon

One of my favorite verses: For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:11-13 (ESV)

I think the last part says it all- SEEK HIM and FIND HIM but we HAVE to seek with ALL of our heart!

Delight in Him!- I have heard over and over the truth found in Psalm 37:4-5. Sometimes that's easier said than done. However, if this is what I truly desire- then this where my heart can be found. Delighting in Him! Delighting very simply means: to take great pleasure in. If I am spending my time with that which is of Him then I will be delighting in Him. But the flipside of that- he also takes delight in me (he even tells me so!) and rejoices over me! How can I not return that?

"Do you feel loved by God because you believe he makes much of you, or because you believe he frees you and empowers you to enjoy making much of him?" John Piper

When I read that quote- it caused me to stop and re-evaluate- I want to enjoy making much of Him- that's what I am called to do...

"The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.” Zephaniah 3:17 (NIV)

This is one of those verses that I never tire of reading- each time I read it- or sing the song that is based on this passage- I am just overwhelmed by his grace. Do I fail? Yes, no doubt about it- but he is mighty to save- and that means even from my failures.

Praying for Awakening

2011-02-25T02:17:00.001-05:00

If I didn't work on Mondays- I would be there- so since I can't I will be praying during my lunch time.

Knoxville is a growing city- and it's also a city that has come to mean a lot to me as I have lived here for 16 of the last 18 years (wow- that's a long time). I have recently become involved with a ministry through KARM (Knoxville Area Rescue Ministries) and every time I go I am struck by the hunger the women have for the Word and for Christ. I am also a teacher in urban Knoxville- I come into contact with needs- physical and spiritual on a daily basis and try to live as a light through my job.

I would like to invite you (if you are local) to join us at:
Prayer for Awakening in Knoxville, Monday, Feb. 28th, noon to 1 pm at Northstar Church. If you are not local- Knoxville could still use your prayers so please pray for an awakening here in Knoxville and for people to step out and step up.

Chad Sparks (and HERE is his blog) is the pastor of Providence Church and has some excellent thoughts behind this Praying for Awakening. You can find more info at the Pray for Awakening site HERE

Would love to hear your thoughts- and how you are praying for awakening....

Faith vs. Fear

2011-02-21T03:21:00.000-05:00

Fear: to be afraid or apprehensive

Faith: firm belief in something for which there is no proof; complete trust

If you are human then you have faced the first one - probably more than once. It can come in many forms- circumstances, our perceptions, or even just other people. My most recent "bout" with fear is one that comes to mind between November and February since November 2008. That's when my life turned upside down. In January of 2009 I was diagnosed with a kidney disorder. It's not life-threatening, it's not anything harmful except that I make kidney stones all the time. It all started in November of 2008 and then in December of 2008 I underwent a CT scan where my doctor informed me that I could lose one or both of my kidneys, but she wasn't a specialist so she was going to send me to one. All of this happened a week before Christmas so I went through this all over the Christmas holiday. I was very fearful- and struggled with what to feel. Then I had- what can only be described as- an encounter with God. I really felt a sense of peace about what was going to happen- did that alleviate my anxiety- NOPE but it was a bit different. For the past two years since I am apprehensive going into my follow up visits. This week was that visit. On Monday I had to go in for an x-ray and Thursday was the actual visit. What it came down to was simple- God is still working. Basically my stones are way too small to be seen on an x-ray and the only way they would be seen is through a CT scan- my doctor sees no need for one of those at this point in time. This is GREAT news- they are not growing in size or quantity so what I am doing food wise is working- so I just have to keep plugging away. I still have the belief that if God wanted to completely heal me of this he would but if He chooses not to- I am okay with that because His plan is bigger than mine.

I am choosing faith over fear!

Beautiful by Mercy Me

2011-02-02T20:19:00.001-05:00

I don't have much to say about this- the lyrics say it all. The cross makes everyone beautiful!

LOVE the part- where it says- "you're the one He madly loves enough to die..."

Have Patience

2011-01-31T20:19:00.004-05:00

I came home today from a weekend in Indiana celebrating my mom's birthday (unlike my dad I WON'T tell her age) :) . On my way home I listened to this song several times

My favorite part of the song is where she sings:
"So break me of impatience
Conquer my frustrations
I've got a new appreciation
It's not the end of the world
Oh Oh Oh
This is the stuff that drives me crazy
This is the stuff
Someone save me
In the middle of my little mess
I forget how big I'm blessed
This is the stuff that gets under my skin
And I've gotta trust You know exactly what
You're doing It might not be what I would choose
But this is the stuff You use."

Then I was reading in Psalm 130:5: "I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I hope..." (ESV)

My thought on this is simply this: Patience is not one of those virtues that I can wrap my arms around easily. There are things/times when I am patient but then I start to wonder what God is up to and want it to happen NOW. It's like the lyrics to the song I posted above: ...And I've gotta trust You know exactly what You're doing It might not be what I would choose But this is the stuff You use."

He knows exactly what He is doing- and that's all I need to know.

(As a little side note- the title of this reminds me of The Music Machine and the song Have Patience
Have patience, have patience
Don't be in such a hurry
When you get impatient, you only start to worry
Remember, remember that God is patient, too
And think of all the times when others have to wait for you

So, as I wait "patiently" I will use that time to grow and develop that trust in Him!

Is it wrong to dream?

2011-01-04T17:38:00.003-05:00

Merriam-Webster defines dream as:

(n) a : a strongly desired goal or purpose dream of becoming president> b : something that fully satisfies a wish

(v)

: to have a dream of

: to consider as a possibility

: to pass (time) in reverie or inaction

It's something I know that we all do- to dream of what we want for the future, to dream of what we wish we had done different in the past, even to escape reality for a little while. But is this harmful? Does it set us up for unrealistic expectations? As a single I dream of being married someday- and while I don't want it to be to the wrong person am I wrong to dream that dream?

I'm not completely sure of that answer- I think maybe I need to change my dream and instead dream of HIM and what HE wants for me. Jeremiah 29:11-13 (which has become very dear to me this past week) clearly states

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ¹² Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. ¹³ You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." (NIV)

He knows my heart's desire, he knows my dreams, he knows my future... and his plans for me are not going to hurt me- they are there to give me hope. I think it all boils down to v. 13- when I seek HIM with ALL of my heart (not 1/4, not 1/2, not even most- ALL) I will find Him.

ETA: For Christmas my dad got me the book "What Happens When Women Walk in Faith" by Lysa Terkeurst and I started reading it tonight- the introduction is about dreams- the part that stuck out to me "When a woman begins to walk in faith toward God, He will give the dream." Resting in that tonight.

Focus

2011-01-02T09:03:00.002-05:00

2010 was a strange year and right now I'm not sure where 2011 is going to take me- however, I know that with God's help I will get through it and will come out stronger on the other side. With that said- my one word for 2011 is:

FOCUS

Part of the personal stuff was that I lost my focus- I shifted my eyes off that which really mattered in my life and especially my relationship with Christ. I didn't lose it- just allowed the subtle shift that didn't make it #1. For me-I have to keep Him #1. So- that's the first part of my focus- the spiritual focus.

The second part of my focus is my physical focus. I was going to bed later and later as the days went by. For my physical well-being I am going to HAVE to go to bed at a decent time and even more importantly- make time for me- in exercising. I have to make it a priority. I have a goal for the end of January- I want to hit it- to do so means I will need a shift in my priorities. That also means I need to control my diet. As of today- January 1- I have no soda in my house- my goal is to not drink any sodas in the month of January. I love me some Diet Dew so this will be a hard one for me- but something has to give. Water, water, water....

The third part of my focus is my relational focus. This is part of the personal stuff that made 2010 a strange year. I am going to work on making my relationships Christ-centered and they need to be both a give and take. If I am giving, giving, giving then I know that relationship is going to burn me out. I am going to work on the balance in relationships and work on trusting...

My verse for the year that I feel really goes along with this word of focus is:
"Teach me your way, O LORD, and I will walk in your truth, give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name." Psalm 86:11 (NIV)

The word UNDIVIDED is key here- ESV refers to it as unite the heart. I want my heart to be completely undivided.

Waiting...

2010-12-31T00:36:00.001-05:00

Life threw me a little curveball this week- but I guess that's part of what happens in life isn't it? I was listening to my iTunes earlier today (Saturday) and this song came on- I have never seen this movie- and probably will someday but now is probably not the time- anyway, this song just really meant a lot to me while I was listening. I'm in a waiting place- I don't know what I am waiting for- but I am waiting and I know that through the waiting I can trust HIM!

ETA- interestingly enough I wrote this back on Dec. 10- this holds true even today- 20 days later.

Merry Christmas!

2010-12-24T20:26:00.000-05:00

Merry Christmas!

For to us a child is born,
to us a son is given;
and the government shall be upon his shoulder,
and his name shall be called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
Isaiah 9:6

The Wizard of Oz

2010-12-17T22:07:00.002-05:00

Tonight I was watching The Wizard of Oz on tv- not a movie I have watched all the way through (that I can remember) but I have watched bits and pieces in the past. Anyway, the part that struck me was the part where they (Dorothy, the tinman, and the scarecrow) meet up with the Cowardly Lion and they are talking about what they want to ask the wizard for. The tinman wants a heart, the scarecrow wants a brain, the cowardly lion wants courage and Dorothy just wants her home.

Isn't that what we all want- in all of us is a piece of each of those characters in what we want. The things is- if we are believers- we have all of that through our relationship with God (in this analogy- the wizard- but obviously I don't see God as a wizard).

The Tin Man (wants a heart): In Psalm 33:20-21 tells us how to have that heart

²⁰Our soul waits for the LORD;
he is our help and our shield.
²¹For our heart is glad in him,
because we trust in his holy name.

The Scarecrow (wants a brain-aka wisdom): Psalm 111:10

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom;
all those who practice it have a good understanding.

The Cowardly Lion (wants courage): Joshua tells over and over (such as in Joshua 1:9)

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go."

Dorothy (wants to go home): Our earthly home is just temporary as stated in 2 Corinthians 5:1

"For we know that if the tent that is our earthly home is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens."

Just a few thoughts from a classic movie and a classic Book which both have stood the test of time.

Broken Dreams...

2010-12-08T21:36:00.004-05:00

When the righteous cry for help, the LORD hears
and delivers them out of all their troubles.
The LORD is near to the brokenhearted
and saves the crushed in spirit.
Psalm 34:17-18

Years ago I heard the following poem:

Broken Dreams
By: Author Unknown

As children bring their broken toys
With tears for us to mend,
I brought my broken dreams to God
Because He was my friend.

But then instead of leaving Him
In peace to work alone,
I hung around and tried to help
With ways that were my own.

At last I snatched them back and cried,
"How could you be so slow"
"My child," He said, "What could I do?
You never did let go."

It made a huge impact on me then because so often I think I am leaving something in God's hands only to take it back because He is working too slow. Tonight my heart was broken- not in a shattered mess but enough that some of the pieces are there on the ground. 6 years ago I was wounded deeply- and I put up that wall around my heart- I have not let anyone in or even thought about letting anyone in until recently. I started letting part of the wall come down- slowly- but carefully- and then tonight- I remembered why that wall was there- so I wouldn't get hurt. But as I told this person- if I don't let the wall down then I could miss the blessing that God wants to place there. It's such a risk- one I am not sure I want to take anymore...

Your Secret Name...

2010-11-30T22:37:00.001-05:00

I find it completely fascinating to watch God work throughout my life the last few weeks. I have been struggling with various things- one of them being the masks that I (and most people) tend to wear. I was having this conversation the other day with a friend that I don't want to wear a mask at church- or in life. Next thing I know- God is working through circumstances to show me that masks (aka labels) have often been controlling my life and affecting who I *think* I am.

Last weekend we had a Ladies Event at church and the lady who spoke shared with us the damage labels can do to a person and how when we truly come to accept Christ's love and mercy in our lives we gain new labels of who Christ says we are. Just very needed at the time.

Then, this weekend, while at my parents' house for Thanksgiving I spent some time reading a book that I ran across in the local Christian bookstore (Cedar Springs). The name of the book- Your Secret Name by Kary Oberbrunner. It dealt along the same vein- Names are powerful things- parents spend hours/days/weeks/months poring over names for their future children. Many times the name is picked by how it all sounds together but still other times names are chosen based on their meaning. We have given names- names that we have gained through our circumstances, through our choices. We also have Secret names- the names that God whispers to us that tell us who we REALLY are.

This book was very timely- and in fact, I actually dealt with this exact issue while I was reading the book. My given name was unloved, unworthy of love (not from my parents- I have always felt loved with them). This has been something that I have been struggling with quite some time- when I finished reading the book- I knew my secret name- and it goes back to my favorite verse- Zephaniah 3:17- I am "Delighted In". I know that I am loved, and am worthy of love.

I would encourage everyone to read this book and recognize your Given Name(s) and then rest in your Secret Names...

Am I Really Seeking HIM?

2010-11-09T04:30:00.000-05:00

I had a friend today ask me a tough question. I was talking to her and mentioned that I was struggling with one thing in particular- not being single, not financial, not anything that I have struggled with in the past- no, I am struggling with the desire to be closer to home. The question she asked- have I prayed about it? And yes, I have but I think I have been praying as if God is not going to answer, as if God is going to say no- and why should I pray diligently about something I know is going to be a 'no'? I know that is "not right" thinking and I know that I can't go into prayer thinking I know God's mind. He has said in his Word that his thoughts are not our thoughts and his ways are not our ways. So, why, would I, be so presumptuous as to know God's answer if I don't spend time praying about it?

ETA: I actually started this post way back in October with the intention of adding to it- but I just decided to post as is...

Eyes on Him

2010-11-01T21:48:00.000-04:00

Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. ²⁶ When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.

²⁷ But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”

²⁸ “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”

²⁹ “Come,” he said.

Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. ³⁰ But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”

³¹ Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?” Matthew 14:25-31

I was having a discussion with a friend of mine regarding a book that I read years ago (and I still have in my possession). The author is John Ortberg- If You Want to Walk on Water, You've Got to Get out of the Boat. It's been a while since I looked at this book and after talking to my friend I pulled it out and flipped through it- I also decided to look up the above scripture and just focus on them for a few minutes tonight. The thing that really struck me was how much Peter's "failure" to focus is the thing that people zero in on and while I see that as an important fact and then the following verse 31- IMMEDIATELY after Peter asked for help, Jesus reached out his hand- what about the people in the boat? They didn't even attempt to step out in faith. Why? What fear held them back? What fear holds me back?

I posted the following questions on my FB tonight: Just some thoughts I have been thinking. Faith and what it means. How I am living that out- am I using both words and actions? Would people who don't know me be able to tell that I am a believer before being told? Am I being bold? Am I loving boldly? Am I using my past brokenness to reach others and have compassion toward others?

Part of this stemmed from this quote by C.S. Lewis: "

"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will
certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of
keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an
animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your
selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable."

and then a friend posted this: "And a broken heart can show compassion to others, be used for God and redeemed."

I also read this article today- which drove the point home for me!

and finally- I leave you with one of my favorite songs (and it's a female singer- sorry Dad)

Singleness- A Gift or a Curse?

2010-09-28T14:37:00.000-04:00

This has been a topic of conversation in my singles ABF class the last few weeks. Our pastor just finished up a series called Homefront Alliance- and as the name suggests it was geared toward married couples/families. So, where did that leave us (the singles)? Well, as it turned out- there were so many lessons that were applicable to where we are in our current states.

I'll be honest, never, in all of my years did I think I would be 35 and still single- with no option of anything beyond that in sight. In my previous limited thinking- I KNEW that if I followed God, did what he asked me to do, and lived a life for Him then I would be married in a timely manner. Guess what, God's timing is obviously not my timing. So, through this singleness I have worked through several emotions/thoughts and now look at it through completely different eyes- hopefully God's eyes.

1.) The gift of singleness- one thing you hear over and over in the church is the gift of marriage. If marriage is a gift- so is singleness. We were told that the Greek word for gift is charisma- which literally translated means any special grace conferred by God on an individual. It's also been written this way: Charisma meaning "gift," "of/from/favored by God/divine.

So, what does that mean for me? That I have been given grace for the place where I am. In my case- in my singleness.

2.) Contentment- this is not an easy thing to come by and for me- contentment simply means resting in HIM and knowing that He is my rock. If I build my foundation on Him (the wise man building on the rock comes to mind) then I will stand strong and protected against the storm. If I build my foundation on the sand then I will crumble when the storms come.

3.)Blessings- so many blessings have come out of me being single. I have been able to travel when I want to, go on mission trips that were lengthy with no thought to family left behind (and by family I mean husband and kids as those I traveled with thought of), ability to work my schedule to help a friend in need, etc.

I'll end with a quote from a book I have been reading. It's called The Woman of Mystery by Hayley DiMarco

"When you are waiting for love to come your way, you have the opportunity to prepare yourself not only physically and mentally but also spiritually. Paul talks about how much easier it is to serve God when you're single than it is when you have the cares of a marriage to deal with (see 1 Corinthians 7:32-34). Your single years offer a world of spiritual opportunities, and what you do with that time will affect your future marriage. If you neglect your spiritual growth and instead obsess over finding love, you will end up squandering precious time that could have been invested into your spirit."

The Stand lyrics

2010-09-16T19:34:00.000-04:00

We started singing this song several weeks ago in church and it just sticks with you. I listen to it, pretty much every morning, on my way to work and just reflect/meditate on his faithfulness, his love, his sacrifice. That last one gets me every time. With all he sacrificed how could I NOT stand with my arms high and heart abandoned!? With all of the "stuff" I was dealing with a few weeks ago- even though I felt like throwing the proverbial towel in- this was one of the songs that I kept coming back to over and over again. It was the encouragement that I needed. I pray that it blesses you like it has blessed me.

Hope

2010-09-13T21:28:00.000-04:00

Discourages (discouragement) is defined as: to deprive of courage or confidence: dishearten

There are many stories/events throughout the Bible and history where discouragement threatens to take over life.

Abraham and Sarah and their failure to conceive
Joseph, while in prison, waiting to be remembered
Moses- leading the Israelites around the desert
Peter when he denied Jesus three times
Paul, as he sits in prison after prison and deals with people who were hard-hearted
Jews in concentration camps as they waited...
Families who wait for word from (or about) their loved ones in another country/city/state after a crisis
Tami Grandi.. and I know that every single person can add your name and situation to this list as well.

Habakkuk certainly knew about discouragement. He put out two complaints to the Lord and had responses from the Lord. After the second response came a prayer and then--- a rejoicing in the Lord

Habakkuk 3:17-19-

¹⁷ Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,

¹⁸ yet I will rejoice in the LORD,
I will be joyful in God my Savior.

¹⁹ The Sovereign LORD is my strength;
he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
he enables me to go on the heights.
For the director of music. On my stringed instruments.

So, even in the midst of realizing that life is falling apart- that he is living in his Plan B- he chose to rejoice- to find joy in God!

The flip-side of discouragement is hope. Merriam-Webster defines hope as: to expect with confidence (aka TRUST)

Abraham and Sarah conceived Isaac and from that baby came a great legacy
Joseph was eventually remembered and because of his great trust in the Lord he was given a gift that allowed him to save many people.
Moses never led the Israelites to the Promised Land but he saw/experienced the Lord in amazing ways.
Peter turned the grief he felt at his denial and became a follower of Christ who gave up EVERYTHING.
Paul wrote letter to churches in the midst of his imprisonments that contain encouragement and truths we can live by today

To me, hope is the trusting that my expectations are going to happen. They may not happen the way I want them to happen BUT they will happen based on God's leading in my life and that is all I need.

Psalm 126:8- "Those who sow in tears shall reap with shouts of joy."

Psalm 130:5-6 "I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope. My soul waits for the Lord..."

Straight Roads or In a Ditch?

2010-09-05T19:43:00.000-04:00

The past few weeks/months have been rough. I have hit a dry spell- my "wilderness" and I felt like I was like the Israelites just wandering aimlessly. The sad part- just like those desert wanderers from years ago- I was in denial that I wasn't going anywhere (except in circles). Last weekend I hit the breaking point- I "bailed" on all but one commitment and came thisclose to bailing on church last Sunday. I always feel a little guilty when I feel that way so I forced myself out the door and made my way there. Once there- well, we'll just say the Holy Spirit did his job. I diagnosed my problem (over commitment which was on the edges of burn out). I figured this out through conversations in our ABF as well as the sermon (which the topic was actually marriage but had other applications for a single person) and then through much prayer, conversation, and listening- I knew what I needed to do. I gave myself permission to say no, to have an agenda when reading the Word, and to actually figure out my routine so that my Bible was open more than just on Sundays.

Interestingly enough our small group study is on Abram and we looked at the beginning where God called Abram to leave and take that step of faith. One verse that came to mind through discussion was Proverbs 3:5-6. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths." Most of the time we focus on v.5 but I really looked at v. 6 and the part that jumped out at me was "he will make straight your paths." I know that there have been times while driving that I have taken my eyes off the road/got distracted and found myself swerving/drifting into the next lane. The drifting is so subtle we don't often notice it until the honk of a horn or the rumble of the warning strips to get our attention. I realized that my burn-out "meltdown" was my warning strip for my current road. I was drifting and it was so subtle I almost didn't notice it until I was almost in the ditch. However, if I keep my eyes on the road in front of me I can navigate through the curves that life's road throws at me with ease and confidence- knowing that my eyes are focused where they should be.

"Let your eyes look directly forward, and your gaze be straight before you. Ponder the path of your feet; then all your ways will be sure." Proverbs 4:25-26

One of those days....

2010-08-12T21:18:00.000-04:00

Have you ever had one? I know as sure as I am sitting here typing this you have! You know the day I'm talking about- where you want to throw your hands up in exasperation, where you have to bite your tongue to keep from burning bridges, where you go into information overload and it starts to overwhelm you? Well, I haven't had just ONE of those days- that's been my past 2 weeks. I'm moving to this new PreK class and I have no furniture (well, I do but not the new stuff that's been ordered), no rug (again, I do but not the new one that's been ordered), and no "fun stuff" (wait, scratch that- at the time of this writing I have a car filled -literally as full as it can be- with things that were given to me today at training). So, physically I could be ready. Mentally- well, I am just not sure where I stand on that one. Seriously though- it's been a crazy last few weeks and I am so overwhelmed that I go into each day not sure where I am going to start. I can tell you that today's information helped... yet it also confused me more than I was before.

I have been so "consumed" by this preparation for the upcoming school year and the "getting ready". Tonight I started thinking about how that looks on the other side- as I make the preparations, as I make the phone calls, as I reach out the parents, as I collect the materials- I am doing the physical preparations. I have had several friends- both local and far away- who have recently lost loved ones (parents, grandparents, friends, etc). Several of them I know were believers- they made the necessary preparations. And, I am ashamed to say that I don't know about others. That's where my other thought comes in- I have had several people who have helped me on a daily basis with my prep. The question that came to mind was- Am I helping others with their eternal preparation?

Hard question- means a hard look at myself in the upcoming days. If not, then I need to figure out HOW I can best help others with those eternal preparations so they are ready!

"Listen, I tell you a mystery: We will not all sleep, but we will all be changed— in a flash, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed. For the perishable must clothe itself with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality." 1 Corinthians 15:51-53

Set the World on Fire

2010-08-09T19:41:00.000-04:00

I had a hard time titling this post and an even harder time writing this post. This post has been stewing inside of me since Saturday and is probably not going to be an easy "write" or an easy read. Saturday morning I was perusing Facebook before I headed out to yard sale/Zumba and I saw a post from a friend that she was waiting for news from the other side of the world. This particular friend went to the same college that I graduated from and so I knew that she, like me, had many friends who were missionaries across the world. When I got home I continued to see similar status updates from friends here in Knoxville so this time I went searching. The one thing that I found was that there was a story out of Afghanistan in which 10 aid workers had been killed. As time passed throughout the day I found out that they were waiting to find out the status of a young lady of 32, Cheryl Beckett. Cheryl's father is a minister at Woodlawn Christian Church here in Knoxville. WCC is where I went to church my last two years at Johnson (but he was not the minister at the church while I attended and I do not know him personally). Later that day I was reading in Psalms and found the following:

"Show me, O LORD, my life's end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting is my life." Psalm 39:4 (NIV)

It was a reality check for me- it showed me, once again, how fleeting life can be. How life can be cut short before anyone expects it to be. Her father gave a statement to the local media and can be found in full HERE (or in a four part video interview HERE) however I want to highlight what I think is one of the most inspiring points he makes (and by inspiring I mean it has caused me to ask myself a lot of questions in the the few minutes since I first read it).

"Years ago, Cheryl, 32, was offered a scholarship to continue post-graduate study at Johns Hopkins University. "She declined, because she felt called to do something else," Rev. Beckett explained, growing teary-eyed. One question drove her choice. "She tried to figure out, 'What is it that God wants to do with my life?'" Rev. Beckett explained. The answer eventually came -- Afghanistan and humanitarian aid.... The trip would involve a long journey to give medical aid in one of the country's most isolated communities, where a toothbrush is a luxury. "They were not ignorant, they were not naive of what they were facing," Rev. Beckett said. "What they were was compelled by the pleas of the Afghan people."

That question in orange has been pounding in my head since I read it. Cheryl got her answer and ultimately left this earth to enter the presence of her Savior doing what God had called her to do. I have been asking myself that same question over and over for most of my life and never has it resonated in my heart like it has tonight. I KNOW that I am called to go to ALL the world. That includes my classroom, my work, my church, and my neighborhood. It also includes my city, my state, and my nation. But, it doesn't stop there- I was once told that ALL means ALL- not some, not just a little sliver- ALL. 2 Corinthians 5:14 states that Christ's love compels us...and because He died for all (again there's that word ALL) then as a follower of Christ I should then live my life likewise- for HIM.

I guess my challenge is this- ask yourself the same question that drove Cheryl and then seek Him to find out the answer. Understand that it may not come today, it may not come tomorrow, but if you seek him you will find an answer. Jeremiah 29:13: "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." I have decided that these words are going in my classroom- no reference but when I see them I will know- three simple words- SEEK and FIND.

Before I leave this very lengthy post- there is a song by a young lady- Britt Nicole called Set the World on Fire- you can find the lyrics HERE (in the interest of saving space I am not putting them here) but I wanted to highlight this part- the first verse:

I wanna set the world on fire
Until it's burning bright for You
It's everything that I desire
Can I be the one You use?

Can you?

Entangled

2010-08-06T06:17:00.000-04:00

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." Hebrews 12:1

I have been thinking a lot about this lately. As I mentioned in my previous post I am attempting a "new beginning" with exercise and diet. In the past two weeks I have lost 9 lbs and I am beyond thrilled with that number. I started thinking yesterday about the weight and how, as I have gained it, it has hindered me from doing things and made things uncomfortable. If I were to fly right now, I would probably be downright uncomfortable in the seat. I went to an Atlanta Braves game a few weeks ago- the seats were a tad uncomfortable and tight. Having lost weight before it's amazing the difference in life's day to day living it makes. And yet, I continued to let myself eat and become lazy and gained all the weight back. I didn't run that race with perseverance. I didn't endure...

So, then I started thinking about the verse and what it means to me and I came across the above picture in my memory. This is a picture at Delphi where they used to run the races. One of the "stories" (aka history lessons) they gave us was that back in the biblical times- when they ran the races the Greeks often ran them naked (or very close to that point) in order to not have anything hindering them from running a race well.

In my personal journey I keep hearing over and over - it's not a sprint, it's a marathon. Simply put- it's not going to be quick and easy. It's going to be something that is going to tax me, use all that I have to complete the race, it's something to be trained for, to work toward, and to keep our eye on the goal. The Christian life is never going to be easy and I pray that I can identify those sins which weigh me down/burden me and lay them aside so I can run this race with perseverance.

A little something to leave you with-
Charles Spurgeon once commented on this passage:

"In those games, those who ran and wrestled wore very little clothing, or often nothing at all. A runner might lose the race through being entangled by his scarf, so he laid aside everything that might hinder or hamper him. Oh, for that blessed consecration to our heavenly calling, by which everything that would hinder us shall be put aside, that we may give ourselves, disentangled, to the great gospel to race!" (source)

New Beginnings...

2010-07-28T07:38:00.001-04:00

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!
2 Corinthians 5:17

I am trying for a new beginning. I have "hired" a personal trainer to spend 4 weeks to help my get my focus on a healthy life and am taking the steps necessary (both in exercise and diet) to get there. After I finished exercising this morning I started thinking about new beginnings and how each day is a new beginning. What brought this to mind was the reminder that last Friday and Saturday I didn't do so well on the eating part- and the exercise on those two days was pretty much non-existent. The end result was that I felt horrible- like a blob. Then Sunday came and with it the chance to make new choices- and since then I have done okay- on the eating and exercising part. But what about the rest of my life- am I making the choices daily? Am I focusing on filling my hunger with the Word? Am I exercising my faith through prayer, sharing about HIM? Or, am I becoming sedentary like my "former" self? If I had to be honest- I would say no- not as often as I should- my goal for a "fit" lifestyle should not stop with just my diet and exercise habits.

I want to live as Jeremiah did:

"When your words came, I ate them;
they were my joy and my heart's delight,
for I bear your name,
O LORD God Almighty"

-Jeremiah 15:16

Just some rambling thoughts for this Tuesday morning :)

Words

2010-07-26T19:34:00.000-04:00

"Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be." James 3:5-8

Today I learned a valuable lesson about the power of words. On my status on facebook I made a simple comment about the plans for the day. In response someone I trusted made a comment that affected my entire morning, most of my afternoon, and most of all allowed satan to attack me in a very vulnerable area. She later apologized and tried to explain that she wasn't trying to hurt me and while that apology was accepted- the damage was already done. The fire had raged and left a trail of a hurting heart.

So, that lesson I learned- to always keep a watch on my words. Even words said as an aside- or meant to "encourage" could actually do just the opposite.

On the flip side- Proverbs 12:18 says: "Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing." I went to a trusted person requesting prayer for my heart and attitude (but I didn't provide her with details). That person figured out what happened and made the contact herself and through that plus the words she shared with me gave me great encouragement and provided the healing my heart needed.

In other "words" :) remember the power a word can have...

Reality

2010-07-17T09:56:00.000-04:00

**This is also a repeat of a post from my card blog

Many of you may have read THIS post on Monday. Well, today a very dear friend of mine, who I had shared a little with on Sunday sent me THIS link. Very timely and much appreciated- so- I am asking for help- help in living here:

"And I’m sure if I were able to untangle all the emotion wrapped in and around these questions, somewhere deep inside I would find this girl doubting God’s love for her.

I did. I remember being single, the only one of my friends without a boyfriend, and wondering why. I would see these nice boys and think God could make one of them fall in love with me but He doesn’t. And that hurt.

But here’s the thing I wish I had known then… I must process this through the filter of God’s love not through the tangled places of my heart.

When I process things through the tangled places of my heart, often the outcome is, “If God loves me so much, why would He allow this happen?”

Instead when I process things through the filter of the absolute assurance of God’s love, the outcome is, “God loves me so much therefore I have to trust why He is allowing this to happen.”

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, God’s love for us is fiercely tender and He will go to great lengths to protect us, provide for us, and put us in positions that allow us to grow. We may not understand it. We may not like it. But we can rest in the absolute assurance of His love.

I took the mom’s hand who was asking for advice and told her to help her daughter rewrite the way she is processing this. It is okay to feel hurt, lonely and sad. But these feelings shouldn’t be a trigger to doubt God’s love for her. They should be a trigger to look for God’s protection, provision and possible growth opportunities."

(this was excerpted from the blog entry that I linked up above). How can you help? By just encouraging/reminding me to rewrite my process! I don't generally post things like this on this blog (I actually have another one where i could so but am choosing to put it here because your comments the other night were so encouraging and uplifting)

Trust (and then WAIT)

2010-07-17T09:55:00.000-04:00

*This is a repeat of a post over on my card blog

Many of you know that I grew as a PK (Pastor's Kid) and I don't regret ANY of that- I have GREAT parents who live their lives and their marriage as a model that I pray that I can emulate one day. However, for whatever reason, I hit walls and Saturday (and even Sunday- even at the point I am typing this up) I hit that wall. I spent most of both days in tears (and I'm not sure why I was even crying). Sometimes I think I try so hard that I feel like I have failed and let God down. It's kind of funny though- we hear the first part of this verse so many times but a lot of people leave off the second part and THAT is where the trust comes in. I don't necessarily have an issue with trust- it's the waiting that I struggle with. It's the giving thanks in the midst of the trusting. It's trusting with ALL (not just part but ALL) of my heart- not holding anything back (which I know that I do for a fear of getting hurt).

So, in light of that- this card came together easily and was very meaningful for today- I needed to reread and believe. If you have stuck with this long post- thank you and I'm sorry it was so long :)

Recipe:
Stamps- {ippity} Devoted
Ink- Chocolate Chip
Paper- Chocolate chip, baja breeze, white, unknown dp
Accessories- buttons, twine

Falling Facedown!

2010-04-28T22:14:00.000-04:00

"I saw that from what appeared to be his waist up he looked like glowing metal, as if full of fire, and that from there down he looked like fire; and brilliant light surrounded him. Like the appearance of a rainbow in the clouds on a rainy day, so was the radiance around him. This was the appearance of the likeness of the glory of the LORD When I saw it, I fell facedown, and I heard the voice of one speaking." Ezekiel 1:27-28 (NIV)

Over and over through scripture when men of God would come into his presence and experience HIM they would immediately fall facedown. The realization of whose presence they were in caused them show reverence to the holiness of God. Sometimes when I watch children as they defy a request from a parent, teacher, or an adult in "authority" I take a moment to observe their body language. So often they cross their arms and get a stance that says, "Don't mess with me" (I'm not saying they have to bow in authority- just trying to make it "real"). How many times do I take that same position with God when I am not obeying what I KNOW He has led me to do, when I outright defy what He has asked of me? When, what I really should be doing, is falling face down!

Praising in the Storm

2010-04-26T20:56:00.000-04:00

"Give thanks to the LORD, call on his name; make known among the nations what he has done. Sing to him, sing praise to him; tell of all his wonderful acts. Glory in his holy name;let the hearts of those who seek the LORD rejoice. Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always." 1 Chronicles 16:8-11 (NIV)

No matter what is going on in my life- whether it's the calm before the storm or chaos in the midst of the storm- I know that I am to praise. To give thanks to HIM- to share what HE has done in my life. To look to HIM and to seek after HIM!

Praise

2010-04-07T22:14:00.000-04:00

Praise- to glorify (a god or saint) especially by the attribution of perfections (Merriam Webster Dictionary). Praise, it's something we all like to have as part of our daily living. When we do something right- we "expect" praise. The question is- do we give praise to the ONE who deserves all the praise?

as a teacher I see this on daily basis- when my students do something "good" and I praise them for it they in turn work harder and give me work. Aren't we the same way? And yet, there is one who just simply deserves our praise- without us expecting to "get more" from Him.

"I will exalt you, my God the King; I will praise your name for ever and ever. Every day I will praise you and extol your name for ever and ever. Great is the LORD and most worthy of praise; his greatness no one can fathom. One generation will commend your works to another; they will tell of your mighty acts. They will speak of the glorious splendor of your majesty, and I will meditate on your wonderful works. They will tell of the power of your awesome works, and I will proclaim your great deeds. They will celebrate your abundant goodness and joyfully sing of your righteousness. The LORD is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love. The LORD is good to all; he has compassion on all he has made. All you have made will praise you, O LORD;
your saints will extol you. They will tell of the glory of your kingdom and speak of your might, so that all men may know of your mighty acts and the glorious splendor of your kingdom. Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom, and your dominion endures through all generations. The LORD is faithful to all his promises and loving toward all he has made. The LORD upholds all those who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down. The eyes of all look to you, and you give them their food at the proper time. You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing.
The LORD is righteous in all his ways and loving toward all he has made. The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them. The LORD watches over all who love him, but all the wicked he will destroy. My mouth will speak in praise of the LORD. Let every creature praise his holy name for ever and ever. Psalm 145:1-21 (NIV)

Walk on the Water

2010-04-06T21:33:00.000-04:00

"For you, O God, tested us; you refined us like silver. You brought us into prison and laid burdens on our backs. You let men ride over our heads; we went through fire and water, but you brought us to a place of abundance." Psalm 66:10-12 (NIV)

This morning- I was reading this chapter and this verse jumped out at me. The chapter is all about giving praise to God in light of all that He has done. Then this verse is in there- God has tested us and through that testing we are refined. We have been cast into troubles (just in life) and carry heavy burdens. People may "walk" all over us-we WILL go through the trials BUT (and this is the good part)- on the other side- is a place of glory and abundance. But, to do that we have to step out of the boat- our comfort zone and live- even when we want to give up...

One of my favorite songs is Walk on the Water by Britt Nicole- here are the lyrics (and this has actually been played on a couple of episodes of Biggest Loser the last few weeks):

Walk On The Water lyrics

You look around and staring back at you
Another wave of doubt
Will it pull you under
You wonder
What if i'm overtaken
What if i never make it
What if no one's there
Will you hear my prayer?
When you take that first step
Into the unknown
You know that he won't let you go

So what are you waiting for
What do you have to lose
Your insecurities
They try to hold to you
But you know you're made for more
So don't be afraid to move
Your faith is all it takes
And you can walk on the water too

So get out and let your fear fall to the ground
No time to waste, don't wait
And don't you turn around, and miss out on
Everything you were made for
Gotta be, I know you're not sure, more
So you play it safe, you try to run away
If you take that first step
Into the unknown
He won't let you go

So what are you waiting for
What do you have to lose
Your insecurities
They try to hold to you
But you know you're made for more
So don't be afraid to move
Your faith is all it takes
And you can walk on the water too

Step out, even when it's storming
Step out, even when you're broken
Step out, even when your heart is telling you,
telling you to give up
Step out, when your hope is stolen
Step out, you can't see where you're going
You don't have to be afraid
So what are waiting, what are you waiting for

So what are you waiting for
What do you have to lose
Your insecurities
They try to hold to you
But you know you're made for more
So don't be afraid to move
Your faith is all it takes
And you can walk on the water,
walk on the water too

Beautiful You

2010-04-05T21:45:00.000-04:00

Today's verses and song don't fit with the focus of the past week but this was a song that I felt led to share TODAY. Society tells us (all of us) that we should look, dress, and act a certain way- if we don't- well then we just don't fit in. But, I strive to live my life focused on things above-if I do that then I will know who I am but more importantly- WHOSE I am. If I do that-then the rest falls into place.

When thinking what verse I was going to use tonight I kept coming back to a song that I have been listening to over and over again for the last few months. A friend of mine posted this on his wall a couple of months ago and I immediately went and downloaded it. It's one of those songs that I have not tired of- the message is so important for young... See More people today. I encourage you- if you have a young person (especially a young lady) in your life- take a listen to this song and ponder the message.

Two passages today-

"But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7 (NIV)

"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the ... See Morewearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. 4Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. 5For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. " 1 Peter 3:3-5 (NIV)

Safe

2010-04-04T23:06:00.000-04:00

The celebrations are over, things are back to normal- or are they? I struggle with getting in a rut. But this year, I want my life to be different- I want my life to have purpose- I want a life lived for HIM. I want courage yet fear holds me back- lack of trust causes me to doubt but if I really LISTEN to HIS word...- I find that I have no need to fear- I am SAFE- in HIS arms

I was reading Psalm 91 earlier and the passage just said so many of these things to me- in this time that Easter is over- I truly do not want to let my life become so routine that I miss HIM in the day to day living. I need to know that I am safe and this passage tells me that I am- I will choose to trust- that no matter what season of life I am in- that He holds me in his arms.

"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust." Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge;his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart." Psalm 91:1-4

"If you make the Most High your dwelling—even the LORD, who is my refuge- then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent. For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone. You will tread upon the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent. "Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation." Psalm 91:9-16

I LOVE this part: "Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him.

Because I love Him I can know- beyond the shadow of a doubt- that I am safe- that I am protected...

LOVE this song by Phil Wickham (have been singing it in my head - because that's the only place you all would want to hear it- all day)

Safe Lyrics

(Feat. Bart Millard)

Verse:
To the one who's dreams are falling all apart
And all you're left with is a tired and broken heart
I can tell by your eyes you think your on your own
but you're not all alone

Have you heard of the One who can calm the raging seas
Give sight to the blind, pull the lame up to their feet
With a love so strong and never let you go
oh you're not alone

Chorus:
You will be safe in His arms
You will be safe in His arms
'Cause the hands that hold the world are holding your heart
This is the promise He made
He will be with You always
When everything is falling apart
You will be safe in His arms

Verse 2:
Did you know that the voice that brings the dead to life
Is the very same voice that calls you to rise
So hear Him now He's calling you home
You will never be alone

Bridge:
These are the hands that built the mountains
the hands that calm the seas
These are the arms that hold the heavens
they are holding you and me

These are hands that healed the leper
Pulled the lame up to their feet
These are the arms that were nailed to a cross
to break our chains and set us free

God is There

2010-03-25T21:51:00.000-04:00

In the midst of stress and anxiety God is there! I need to really remember this on a daily basis so when the following song came to my inbox today I knew exactly what verses I wanted to use- you can go here to read it (it's WAY too long for here): Psalm 77. The video a song by Tenth Avenue North.

After I read the lyrics I knew immediately what my verse for today would be. On those days when I am just struggling, ... See Morefeeling like all I have done is cry out to God and then at the end of I wonder if he has even heard me. I KNOW that He has but discouragement has a way of beating us down at times. But then a memory surfaces and I remember- I remember His promises, the fact that HE alone is faithful, that He has shown me WHO He is and I know that I can rest solely in that.

Be Still...

2010-03-24T22:08:00.001-04:00

I have been posting some of these thoughts on FB but decided that since some of the are thoughts that I have I would post them here too so I don't "lose" them....

"Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." Psalm 46:10 (NIV)

short and simple tonight- yet the truth rings through loud and clear... this morning I was listening to the radio on my way in to work and heard this song- my mind immediately went to this verse. Then, when I got home from church there was a message in my inbox with this song as the song for today. God has used this song and HIS word to sooth my tired and weary heart. I love this verse in the song:
Even when it feels like there is no one holding me
Be still, my soul
Through every fear
And every doubt...
And every tear I shed
Down every road
I’m not alone
No matter where I am

I am not alone- he knows EXACTLY what I am going through. He knows when my heart is hurting, when I doubt, when I cry and He is right there beside me every step of the way.

I would love for you to weigh in- our world is so crazy busy at times and to be still sometimes takes a strength that we can't possess on our own... tell me how you take time to be still- how do you know when it's time to be still?

2009-08-31T18:54:00.000-04:00

Yesterday our pastor preached on Jeremiah 29. Normally when pastors preach on that chapter they go to verse 11. However, Pastor Sam focused on 4-7- specifically verse 7.

"But seek the welfare of the city where i have sent you into exile, and pray to the LORD on its behalf, for in its welfare you will find your welfare."

Lots to think about

2009-07-05T22:12:00.000-04:00

I have a lot to think about today. I struggled with going to church today because my lower back caused me to have a lack of sleep. Plus, on top of that it just hurt to stand up after sitting so I seriously contemplated not going. However, after my shower I felt a bit better and decided to go ahead and go and figured as long as I had something to hold onto as I was standing up I would be okay. Satan definitely was at work today because once I got there and we started the singing- I knew I was right where I needed to be and the message was one that hit home! I'll compile some of the thoughts and then some of the scriptures we looked at in Singles and try to put them all together to make some coherent thoughts- but that's for another day :)

Francis Chan video

2009-04-19T21:55:00.001-04:00

One of our pastors stepped down today- he is choosing to back into the workplace in order to reach more people (he was our missions pastor). His message was amazing and really got me thinking about my safety nets and how I need to be willing to to take risks (not, in my job I do have to be somewhat careful). Anyway, he ended with this video. I have the book Crazy Love by this man (Francis Chan) and I am looking forward to reading it.

Francis Chan

For some reason I can't get the video to post so please check out the link.

Waiting....

2009-04-16T21:32:00.000-04:00

Being single I wait a lot- patiently and impatiently. Here's a fabulous article I found that gives some timely advice in the period of waiting.

Christianity Today: Waiting

How Big is Your God?

2009-03-20T22:58:00.000-04:00

I apparently wrote this sometime last year but am just now posting this (I went back and double checked)

So many times I limit God to my own personal experiences without really looking around to the experiences of others. When I do that I limit the "bigness" of God. I am pigeon-holing him into only my little world. In reading My Utmost for His Highest for April 9 (remember this was written in 2008) I read the following and it's talking about seeing Jesus: "Jesus must appear to you and your friend individually, no one can see Jesus with your eyes. And division takes place when one has seen Him and the other has not..."

Then in Luke 10:23 I read these words of Jesus- "Blessed are the eyes that see what you see." I want my friends to see what I see but at the same time I cannot force them to do so. Only God can bring about that type of vision. My part comes by sharing what I have seen.

Am I Passing the Test?

2009-03-10T19:30:00.000-04:00

Based on Deuteronomy 8:2-10

Deut. 8:2 states God LED them in the wilderness, to humble them and testing them to know what was in their hearts. Two things stand out to me in that verse: 1) God LED them. Even though they were out there wandering and I'm sure they felt alone and abandoned- God LED them. He never left them, never forsook them- He LED them. He was in front of them the whole way! 2) He was testing them- to see if they could keep His commandments. I can't help but think of the stress they were under- the pressure that built up. It all came down to one thing- did they obey? How did they respond under pressure? He provided food, water, clothing, and shelter for them- what was their response? Was it trust? What is mine? Am I trusting HIM? and then rewards for passing the test- a good land, a fruitful land, a blessing from the LORD.

So now, my question is: Am I passing the test?

It's Not Friday yet...

2009-02-15T22:01:00.000-05:00

My pastor told a story this morning in the middle of the sermon on Trusting God (in these economic times) that just really struck a cord with me. I'm going to summarize the story as best I can. There was a leader (maybe the president) of Moody Bible Institute who had to make a big decision and he was back and forth about what to do. After stewing on it for a while he called a friend of his who asked him when he had to make the decision- he said Friday. His friend said, "well, it's not Friday yet". By the time Friday came he knew what God wanted him to do.

So, when I start to worry about my future and what is going to happen- I'm just going to tell myself- it's not Friday yet!

WOW

2009-01-12T19:20:00.000-05:00

Yesterday at church our Pastor preached on just how much God loves us and how can see it throughout creation. The one that he said that mean a LOT to me was based on Psalm 139- being fearfully and wonderfully made. I was diagnosed this past week with medullary sponge kidney. It's knocked me back a bit but I have learned that I am not in control of anything. That GOD must have control and if I try to take it then I will just mess it up. There's going to be some lifestyle changes and some dietary restrictions but through it all I have learned so much- I have learned that God is Holy and I have learned that He knew this was my path in life before I was born. He created me in my mother's womb and knew that at this point in my life this is the path I would take. So, even though I'm sure I'll struggle every now and then- I'm choosing to look at this as a gift and enjoy the journey!

Lots of good stuff today

2008-11-30T19:32:00.000-05:00

Today's sermon at church was based on Psalm 46:10- Be Still.... and know that He is God!

Totally what I needed to hear. He started out with this quote (and I don't remember who it's by):

"Stillness is a spiritual discipline that moves us toward secret communion and paves the way for supernatural intervention."

He focused on the three parts in red.

Spiritual Discipline- should be Holy Habits- 1 Timothy 4:7 (discipline yourself for the purpose of godliness)

Secret Communion- has four parts. 1)as a child of God; 2)come reverently with a fear of God- Psalm 25;14, Psalm 31:19, and 1 John 1:9; 3)come undistracted (this is where I struggle) and 4) come persistently. If we don't do these things- our lives begin to unravel.

Supernatural Intervention- "don't just do something, stand there!" 2 Chronicles (I'll have to find the reference later) and Exodus 14:13-14.

Just some things to ponder. Hoping to be back tomorrow with a thought from Sunday School

Really not a slacker

2008-11-16T18:49:00.000-05:00

I promise I am really not a slacker- I'm just really struggling with consistency and prioritizing my life. I tend to let things slide and unfortunately my relationship with God/time with God is usually the first thing to go. Which saddens me because I KNOW that it is to be the most important thing in my life. I need to work on this area so please pray for me there. Also, please pray for a friend of mine- her husband left her and their two girls. She has a great attitude about it and I'm loving watching God work in her life. Thanks!

Wonderful Sunday

2008-09-07T23:39:00.000-04:00

Today's service was a great one! I have lots to share from it but will do so tomorrow. Between church and the singles class God didn't just nudge me- he pounded me over the head. See you soon!

A quick post

2008-07-10T08:51:00.000-04:00

Just a quick post for right now. First I want to share this verse that I came acros today. I have been cleaning and rearranging my living room and I have these little scripture cards that I came across. This verse just jumped out at me:

"God is greater than our hearts, and He knows everything." 1 John 3:20

I have no idea what version that is but I'll check it out and let you know.

For some thought-provoking reading check this out. It's David Jeremiah and part of his daily turning points.

http://www.davidjeremiah.org/site/magazine.aspx?id=1200

I'm back

2008-07-03T08:38:00.001-04:00

I'm back from Romania and can't wait to share all the God has done- over there and in my life through this experience. One note- please be praying as from July 4-July 6 the Franklin Graham crusade will be in Timisoara.

Just some thoughts from some books

2008-06-19T18:42:00.000-04:00

I'm needing to turn in some books to make space but went through them first and wanted to jot down a couple of thoughts so that I have them handy.

Just Enough Light for the Step I'm On by Stormie Omartian. This was a GREAT book that I read in a tough time. The book starts out: Life is a walk. Each day we take steps. Our tomorrow is determined by the steps we take today.

"God doesn't often reveal the details of where He's taking you because He wants you to trust Him for every step. He wants you to pray and listen to Him directing your path for this day, this week, this season, this year, and this time."

"Sometimes what seems like the darkest step we've ever been on comes just before the brightest light we've ever experienced."

"God wants us to surrender our dreams because we can't be led by Him if we are chasing after a dram of our own making. And He wants us to surrender all of them."

Get Over It and Get On With It by Michelle McKinney Hammond
"The beauty of being in a plce you cannot control is that it gives God the opportunity to work out His plan. You can plan your work all you want to, but in the end God will work His plan with or without your help."

"Joseph didn't resign his dreams and longings. He merely tucked them deeper inside his heart and dealt with the present. In the present he needed a miracle. And God was setting him up for exactly that."

"Only in laying down all her dreams about one type of life did Ruth find a life greater than she could ever have anticipated."

"Far too often we allow a wayward mate, an inconsiderate friend, or a dishonest associate back into our life without any thought of testing that person's intentions or character. We fail to set appropriate boundaries. If nothing has changed and the person is not willing to deal, in a healthy and honest matter, with what went wrong before, you are destined for a repeat of what already happened. Get counseling. Hash it out. Discuss what went wrong and what changes need to be made in order for the relationship to be restored. Set parameters for reestablishing trust. Make a new covenant you can both live with."

Struggling with Forgiveness

2008-06-12T10:28:00.000-04:00

Not an easy topic to talk about and to share. However, it's the truth. I'm struggling with forgiving someone who has hurt me. They questioned a decision I made and in essence questioned my character. Right now I don't want to talk to her about it and why I am not speaking to her but she has asked me why I am not talking to her. Letting go of something is hard. I have struggled with it before but right now it's even harder because I know that I made the right choice in the decision I made.

I know this is short but I needed to put it somewhere- if you are reading this please share what your thoughts are on forgiveness- especially when it's not been asked for.

WOW

2008-06-06T08:20:00.000-04:00

Well, I did what I said I was going to do and God got a hold of me BIG TIME!!! Here was my devo for this morning (My Utmost for His Highest- June 6)- If you are reading this after June 6- go to that date on the calendar. I think the part that hit me the most were the first two sentences:

"Your will agrees with God, but in your flesh there is a nature that renders you powerless to do what you know you ought to do. When the Lord initially comes in contact with our conscience, the first thing our conscience does is awaken our will, and our will always agrees with God."

I just posted that yesterday- I know what I ought to do but my fleshly desires and priorities have rendered me powerless in a way. Hmmm... food for thought anyway. Then, I went to Proverbs 6 (read a proverb a day and today is the 6th. Vs. 20-22 really struck me. "My son, keep your father's commandment, and forsake not your mother's teaching. Bind them on your heart always, tie them around your neck. When you walk, they will lead you; when you lie down, they will watch over you; and when you awake, they will talk with you". I guess the reason why they jumped out at me was this: I have been taught from early age who God is and have read the Word from a young age so I KNOW the Word (I could know it better though) and I have been letting what I already knew lead me- I haven't been taking the time to learn more so that it can be applied to my life today. Does this make sense to anyone?

So, my next reading took me to Psalms- also something I try to read daily- well, it's been so long since I read Psalms that I decided to start with chapter 1. Well, God knocked me over the head with this one- vs. 1-3 "Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season and it leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers."

WOW!!!! This is exactly what I was trying to post yesterday. Because my delight has not been in the Lord or in the law of the Lord I have been dry- I have been withering. I know that to be fruitful, to bloom, to thrive, I HAVE to take delight in the law of the LORD!

Thank you God!

Just some thoughts

2008-06-05T20:25:00.000-04:00

I have been struggling some lately and I know why but yet, I'm having a hard time doing anything about it. My quiet time has been suffering ever since school got out. The crazy thing is I have more time than ever and yet, nothing. I am going to have to get myself in a routine and buckle down. I need accountability and I don't really have that. I leave in less than 2 weeks for Romania and I wonder how I am supposed to tell others about Jesus when my relationship with him is dry right now. That's where I know I need to get going. So, my goal for the days ahead will be to read and respond. Read the Word and respond by sharing what has been revealed to me that day. It may be a thought, it may be a quote, it may be the scripture that I have read. Anyone want to join me?

Quote and a verse

2008-04-14T22:23:00.000-04:00

"The last thing I want to do is offer easy answers and simple platitudes. If God has allowed suffering in your life, it is for a significant purpose. so rather than just focusing on getting rid of it, seek to discover God's purpose in your pain, to submit to his plan and his purpose, to please him in how you respond to adversity. You have an incredible opportunity to glorify God just by your simple trust in him during those dark days. He will bring you from the darkness into the light, so look for him in the darkness."- Rick Warren

Psalm 143:8
Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.

A Great Quote

2008-04-12T21:25:00.000-04:00

For the next few days I'm going to be posting some quotes and Bible verses that mean a lot to me. I am wanting to get rid of some of my paper clutter and unfortunately I have papers everywhere with little anecdotes, quotes, and verses on them. So, in order to do that and have them all in one place I thought this would be a great place to put them all.

"During the times when you and I can't trace God's hand of purpose, we must trust His heart of love. When we don't understand why, we must trust Him because God cares for us more than we can possibly know." - Anne Graham Lotz

Psalm 138:8- The Lord will fulfill his purpose for mr; your love, O Lord, endures forever-do not abandon the works of your hands.

Gratitude

2008-04-07T20:37:00.000-04:00

So often I look around and I am in awe of what I see and even more so-what I experience. Life is not easy- it was never promised to be easy. Christ didn't have an easy life so I don't know why my expectations for my own life would be different.

However, I have found in the midst of life I have a choice to grumble and complain or to have an attitude of thankfulness. I wish I could say the majority of time I exhibit thankfulness, but, more often than not it's the former.

The question then becomes- how can I foster an attitude of gratitude?

1.) Dig into the Word- experience the life of Moses, Joshua, David, Jesus, Paul, and all those in between. In the midst of difficulties they still praised God.

2.) Pray- for eyes to see life, to see people, and most importantly- to see God.

3.) Serve- find your passion. Set foot into the midst of where God is working- you will experience God and in the middle of experiencing Him you will experience an attitude adjustment!

4.) WORSHIP- We are created to worship! When we worship- praise will continually flow from our lips and where there is true praise there can be no complaining or arguing!

Philippians 2:14- "Do all things without grumbling or questioning" (ESV)

Words of Encouragement

2008-04-05T09:26:00.000-04:00

In the midst of daily lives we often let ourselves get overwhelmed. I know I often ask myself- "what am I doing here?" Why have I gone down this path? Where is God leading me? Then I feel guilty- as if I am questioning God. However, as I read the Bible I see that it's okay to ask questions. When reading 2 Chronicles 15:7- "But you, take courage! Do not let your hands be weak, for your work will be rewarded." (ESV) I hear God clearly speaking to me. He is commanding me to be strong! To hold on- to give it all of our heart- because in the end- when He is looking at the big picture- all those questions- all the struggles-all the daily battles- are going to be worth it. It will be rewarded, and that's a promise you can count on!

Tragedy/Crisis

2008-03-15T10:40:00.001-04:00

How do you deal with a tragedy or a crisis in your life? So often it's so easy to get caught up in the moment- to get caught up in the details- to get bogged down by emotions and not effectively deal with a situation. There was a tragedy at the school where I teach- it actually happened after school on Thursday at one of the student's homes. It got me thinking about how we often run away from security in the face of our emotions. Instead of running to the one person who can give us the strength to carry on through it we run the opposite way right into the darkness. When it's dark you can't see- your eyes may adjust to the lack of light but it's a distorted view of reality. We think that if we go a bit further we just might reach the light but in reality it's behind us- we have turned our back on it. All we have to do is turn around- we will see the light! Then, we just have to run toward it. When we reach that light we see things as they really are. I don't want to live in darkness- as a teacher I don't want my students to live in darkness. I want to live in the view of reality- I want to live in the light. And, then, as we live in the light we become part of the light and we are take our light to the dark places of the world. To the people who are constantly in darkness. It could be your neighbor, it could be a stranger on the street, it could be a family member, it could be across the world. Are you willing to run toward the light????

Quick Quote

2008-03-13T21:10:00.001-04:00

I have a women's Bible and it has quotes throughout it. The following is one that I have really enjoyed reading from time to time and I especially need it now! My job is a bit stressful and sometimes I have a hard time seeing God in the middle of it (even though I know He is). I do still have some things to share but I need to do it when I can sit down and think through all that I want to post so definitely look for it in the next week or so (Spring Break).

"We don't know the meaning of worship until we praise God in the middle of a difficult situation, aware that he's still in control of the universe-even though we may not see it." ---Carol Kent

Something to Share

2008-02-26T22:26:00.000-05:00

I have something I want to share but I'm sick so it's not going to happen tonight. Hopefully tomorrow I am doing better so that I can post some things that I read this morning. AWESOME! Totally what I needed to read!

A New Blog

2008-02-23T20:13:00.000-05:00

I have decided that my faith is too important to me to keep quiet and I hate feeling like I am watching what I say on my crafting blog and my exercise blog so I'm starting this one. It's mainly for my own thoughts on what I read and experience on a daily basis. The foundation for the name of the blog comes from Zephaniah 3:17. Read it and you will understand!